Posted by Admin

Author: Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend

Book: Christianity

Year of Release: 2003

Written by 2 psychologists with equally inspiring backgrounds, this book stresses the importance of developing and maintaining healthy relationships by establishing one’s personal boundaries. Dr Henry Cloud, a practitioner with philantrophic interests, wrote this book together with Dr. John Townsend, his partner whom he shares a private clinical practice with in Newport Beach, California.

This book gives us a different perspective on saying “NO” with conviction, honestly and wholeheartedly. The first part of the book speaks about the definition of boundaries, how these are developed from childhood and what dilemmas normally arise from a lack thereof. Simply stated, boundaries define what is ME and what is NOT ME. Moving forward, the second part zeroes in on specific life areas and situations where boundaries are easily tested: with family, friends, spouse, children, workplace, and most importantly, with God. The book finishes off with a reminder on the importance of developing boundaries to have better relationships with the people around us and how we ought to put our realizations from the previous chapters into everyday use.

This prose features day-to-day occurences where exercising healthy boundaries prove to be beneficial. Whereas most people think that having the discipline to stick to one’s boundaries seem selfish and un-Christian at times, reading this book gives us an apt reminder on how crucial it is to say “Yes” when we really mean yes and “No” when that’s how you really feel. As God looks into our hearts more than anything else, it is good to be reminded that we cannot fake righteousness – we cannot fool God. When we focus more on pleasing others, by saying a half-hearted Yes rather than a more truthful No, we have to keep in mind that He is an omnipotent God who knows what’s in our hearts, what people cannot see or ever know and understand.

One of the salient points in this book shows the nature of God in view of our boundaries with Him – why we ought to respect His boundaries as much as He respects ours. Now how does God respect our boundaries? Well, He allows us to say no to Him. He allows us to make our own choice, do our own thing even if it is not part of His plan but He gives consequences for our actions and persistently tries to win us over until we see it His way. Best of all, as He respects our boundaries, He loves us unconditionally and guides us to the right path, lovingly and unceasingly.

This book is a must-read for those who long to develop lasting, grace-and-truth relationships with the important people in their lives. The illustrations and analogies are helpful to most of us who face everyday challenges dealing with people who are not mindful or even mildly concerned of other people’s limits. This book helps one draw the line in many instances where he may be tempted or even forced to compromise his values or identity in order to feel accepted. As we broaden our minds and learn to recognize our own boundaries, we inevitably develop better relationships with ourselves, others and ultimately, with God.

Leave a Reply