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ALFHER & ELSA (May 2010)

I was a seafarer for 4 years before I met my wife, Elsa. She has been working as a nurse at SGH since 2000. We tied the knot in 2005 and shortly afterwards, I decided to quit my job in Manila and flew to Singapore to be with my wife. It was a blessing that our PR application was approved and it allowed for me to seek a job opportunity here without much difficulty.

I then started working in the shipping industry and during that time of initial adjustment, my wife and I had our share of ups and downs. We wanted to have a baby but a demanding job at the shipyard and her unpredictable shifting schedule at work put a great deal of strain in our relationship. It was an unbalanced lifestyle indeed. As I realized that the gap in our relationship grew wider, I decided to quit my job after 2 and a half years with hopes of reviving our relationship.

A few days after I resigned however, we learned that she was pregnant. It felt as if God was pulling a big joke on me. I was unemployed, depressed, and we’re having a baby? It definitely didn’t help that all these happened during recession so I asked God, "Lord, what’s Your plan for me? What do You want me to learn?" I couldn’t find a job and my wife was the bread winner for four months.

By His grace, however, I started to work again in February 2009 as a Technical Superintendent. The salary was not so high compared to my previous job but it was enough to cover for our needs. I thank God for His grace to provide for a job that allowed me to work only from 9am to 6pm, Mondays to Fridays and I only need to render 1 weekend-half-day duty once a month.

My wife gave birth to our first child on June 8, 2009 in the Philippines. Much as I wanted to go back to be with her during this very important moment, I couldn’t because I had to be in Singapore for work. It was through brothers in Christ like Matthew (and his family ) and Paul that I found comfort as I struggled through that difficult phase in my life. My D-groupmates in Toa Payoh have also been instrumental in helping me cope with my issues during this period. Incidentally, I also attended a seminar called "Men in the Eye of the Storm" which I found particularly helpful in preparing me for fatherhood.

I came to see my daughter only after a month and a half after she was born. This was the start of my journey as a father. Despite the sleepless nights, it was a joy to see her every move and every tiny bit of development was a source of bewilderment. Her first smile was a milestone and seeing her do new things was just amazing.

Barely 3 months after our first daughter was born, we were surprised to find out from my wife’s OB-Gyne that she was carrying twins! Happy as we were, it was a challenging time for us adjusting to being new parents and expecting twins in a few months at the same time. We had our share of misunderstandings during that period but we managed to hurdle them. Indeed, God works even in hapless situations like these.

After an uneventful pregnancy, our twins were born on May 25, 2010 and we are now one big happy family. After waiting for four long years of being a father ,God answered my pleas beyond my expectations and I only have praises to tell of His great work in my life. He works in ways unimaginable to man. To God be the glory, honor and praise forever.

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